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Adding Beauty to Your Life

Adding Beauty to Your Life

A Sleep Routine for Waking Up Earlier That Doesn’t Require $50 Candles

May 17, 2018

It seems like everyone’s writing about sleep routines. That’s great, sleep is very important and we live in a culture that has a pretty complicated view of rest/work balance. I just can’t help notice that most of these sleep routines are being written from light flooded luxury lofts and require $50 candles and $400 sheets.

Listen, I love sleeping as much as the next person but I don’t know anyone in a position to spend that much money on a sleep routine. That doesn’t mean a sleep routine itself is a luxury we should go without. If your goal is to wake up early and have that picturesque productive morning, a well-constructed sleep routine is vital. 

So I’m writing my own realistic sleep routine that requires minimal investment but is just as effective (I’d even argue it’s better because I tend to sleep more soundly knowing my bank account isn’t stressed).

This is my own night routine, but you should pick and choose what suits you to create your own night routine. 

Timing 

Every article that talks about waking up early says you should go to bed at the same time each night. That’s because it’s true. Yeah, I’m bad at it too but are you really trying though? Because I’m not. So let’s start together after having read it for the 50th time instead of waiting till the 100th. 

You should also start your sleep routine 1 hour before you actually want to go to sleep. I know, I always wait until 10 PM to go to sleep at 10 PM too. It doesn’t work. Just remember that your productice morning actually starts the night before. 

Strains for Sleep 

If you’re lucky enough to live in a state that’s got it together, you can purchase a strain of weed that will make your pre-bed ritual its own nightly event that you look forward to. Whether you decide to be old fashion with straight up flower or you prefer something a little less abrasive like an edible, making weed part of your night ritual takes it to a whole different level. 

I accidentally found this out after finding myself in the unusual situation of being fairly lifted right before bed. The nighttime yoga recommendation that’s next on this list? Completely conceived of during that accidental bedtime sesh. It’s 2018 and weed is legal people, use the tools you’ve been given!

My Bedtime Bud Picks:

  1. Afghan Kush
  2. Querkle
  3. Big Bud
  4. Skywalker

For sleep purposes I recommend you go the edible route as this produces a more potent effect that will last longer and ensure a deep sleep. I have a friend that swears by her pre-bed edibles and says they send her into a pleasant coma every night. Just be sure to time it so the effects occur at the start of your night ritual. 

Sleep Stretches 

I’m not a super physical person – I don’t even exercise daily. Point being, if I can incorporate a mini yoga session into my night ritual, you probably can too. Make it a super short and basic practice so it’s never too daunting to start when you’re already tired. It’s also important to set aise a special location where you do these stretches so that going over to it at the same time every night immediately triggers the habit to start streteching. 10 minutes of stretching and deep breathing will help release the tension you’ve been carrying all day while also slowing your thoughts down by getting you to focus on your body. 

Meditation 

Meditation is a great trick for getting your mind to quiet down so you’re not being harassed by thoughts while trying to sleep (if I sound bitter it’s because I’ve definitely been there). If you’re even just the slightest bit tired, a 5-minute meditation will make it hard to open your eyes afterward. I like to end my 10-minute yoga session with a 5-minute meditation; after that the day is officially over and I’m safe from worry and stress until tomorrow.

Add Lavender Lavender Essential Oil

Lavender candles, lavender lotion, lavender essential oil – whichever way you find most convenient, add lavender to your night ritual. While I personally find the smell of lavender relaxing just from of how pleasant it is, there’s plenty of actual science to back up why lavender is a useful sleep aid. 

Beverage 

If you don’t have a warm drink before bed you’re missing out on a powerful nighttime ritual. Having the same drink every night can condition your brain to disengage with the outside world and slip into night-mode every time you sip a certain flavor.

Chamomile tea is the traditional pre-bed drink of choice for its mild flavor and for proven sedative effects. You don’t have to be too preoccupied with which tea to buy as the chamomile will do its job regardless. This is a good starter option and here is a good Oh-You-Fancy option.

Want to really treat yourself? Make a cup of my Golden Moon Milk recipe before bed on those days you really need some deep restoration and detoxification. 

Read Before Bed 

There’s something really peaceful in how Amish it feels not to have technology around before bed. So reserve your pre-bed hour as a mini end-of-the-day-media-blackout: no phone, no computer, no screens. Plus, the last thing you need before bed is to raise your heart rate like social media is so good at doing.

The importance of sleep can’t be overstated, but the importance of the time we spend right before sleep warrants just as much attention. A well-planned and healthy sleep routine directly influences the type of morning routine you’ll have. Create your own night ritual to make sleep a more appreciated and purposeful event instead of something we do for 1/3 of our life but never really make a conscious effort to do well.

What night rituals do you already have? I’m always looking to improve my sleep situation so share your own ritual or what new steps you plan to add in the comments or on social media here and here

Salomé

*Did you like this post because you’re a neurotic freak about personal growth like me? Then you’ll lose it for this post. Do you care more about health and holistic living? I got you. Just need some pre-bed reading material? Here’s the perfect warm-feelings-as-I-drift-into-sleep story.*

Adding Beauty to Your Life

Recipe for Essential Oil Room Spray (5 Minute DIY)

February 22, 2018

homemade room spray

I decided to make find a recipe for essential oil room spray after traveling in Vermont and realizing the difference between fresh mountain air and my once artificial fragrance laden home in an already pollution-ridden city. I tossed out everything that could be contributing to bad indoor air quality and I learned about all the shocking garbage that companies put in air freshener products. I decided my home should be the least polluted place I spend my time in, not one of the most. 

But of course, I had all these artificially scented items in my home because I truly enjoy beautiful smells. So that left me with the dilemma of trying to keep my home smelling wonderful without all the harsh chemicals used to do so. Thus far I’ve found these to be the most healthy and effective ways of scenting my home:

  • Homemade essential oil based room spray
  • Essential oil diffusers in every room
  • Homemade potpourri

Look, no option is going to smell as strong as an artificial fragrance just as most unprocessed foods don’t taste as sweet as refined sugar. Once you break down your tolerance to scent by weaning yourself off artificial fragrances, you’ll find that these natural methods are more than enough to have a lovely smelling home. Plus, it’s worth dialing down the intensity on your home’s scent if it means removing your exposure to cancer-causing and all around health degrading chemicals.  

Recipe for Rosemary, Vanilla, and Orange Blend Room Spray

I personally love this blend because it has that clean citrus smell with the sweetness of vanilla, plus rosemary is beneficial for respiration. 

These recipes are for a 4 oz. spray bottle, but of course they can be doubled or halved as needed.

homemade air freshener

  1. There’s just 1 step: pour everything into your spray bottle and shake it each time before spraying!

If you’re a taking the optional step, just add enough of whatever ingredient you choose into your bottle so that it’s visible. This is mainly an aesthetic principal but infusing the live ingredient with your mix will also strengthen the scent. 

I’ve put together a small list of other awesome essential oil blends that you can substitute into the above recipe for different scents. There are some blends based on desired scent and others based on holistic benefits.

It’s a good idea to invest in a bulk purchase of several different essential oils so you don’t run out anytime soon and you’ll be able to experiment with making your own essential oil room spray blends. These also make amazing and easy personalized gifts.

I recommend the brand “NOW” as they have every essential oil you could imagine for a really fair price. This brand has several different kits you can choose from, but this one is the best. For the recipe pictured above, I used a different brand for the first time and it was also great quality.

essential oil air freshener

Spiced Chai Blend

Forest Blend

Almost Eternal Sleep Blend

Focus & Get Shit Done Blend

Anxiety-Away Spray

Stank Fighting Power Blend

essential oil room spray

As someone who’s super sensitive to smell and loves being in wonderfully scented spaces, I was pleasantly surprised at how well this totally-natural-no-unnecessary-garbage air freshener works. I actually decided to make my essential oil room spray pretty randomly but didn’t even have to buy anything beforehand; it’s so simple and easy you really can make it in 5 minutes if you have even just one bottle of essential oil. 

Let me know if you try any of these recipes out and how you like them; I’m also curious as to what led you to the decision to go for all natural air fresheners. Mine was breathing mountain air so clean it practically cured my asthma!

Salomé

*If you’re into natural approaches, you’ll probably be really into this ayurvedic recipe for a cozy, nightcap. If you care about environmental issues and you’ll definitely love learning about this.*

Adding Beauty to Your Life

Your 10 Year Plan for a Remarkable Life

January 27, 2018

I’m sure everybody’s thought about what their future will look like at some point, but how much have you really, really thought about it? I mean in serious detail, like up to what kind of sheets you’ll have on your bed.

Most of us also tend to fantasize about our futures without a specific date in mind. We just kind of imagine our future as happening…in the future. But how would your answer change if you had to imagine this future on a specific date, like exactly 10 years from now? First off, just doing the math as to how old you’ll be in 10 years already kicks your ass a little bit. But a specific date sets your future at a measurable place in time, making it that much more real.

I found out about this little writing activity on the Tim Ferris podcast, from his guest for that episode, Debbie Millman (check it out here). An exercise that originated with Milton Glaser and is said to have a magical quality due to the way it tends to come into existence in the writer’s life, as a planner thumper I thought it sounded like fun so I transcribed the instructions as Debbie explained them. Basically, it’s a prompt that asks you to write out your future as it will be 10 years from now with no fear of failure in mind and with a level of detail I guarantee you’ve never attempted before. 

The usefulness of this activity is in how vividly it forces you to imagine your life 10 years from now. Creating a picture of what your goal looks like and setting it on a timeline is a pretty standard tool in goal achievement, but this writing exercise really takes it to the next level by having you imagine the most detailed goal post you possibly can. It’s going to shock you when you see how much of your future you haven’t actually given much thought to.

Besides the usefulness of this exercise for goal planning, it’s actually really fun to sit and think so deeply about what you want your future to look like. Just give it a try, you can literally just open Notes on your phone and start writing away at this; I think you’ll find it extremely illuminating and enjoyable. Good luck!

Note: Depending on your age, you can adjust the time length of the plan from 10 to 5 years. Generally, if you’re over 40, you can set the plan for 5 years.

10 Year Plan For a Remarkable Life 

Dream big. Don’t edit. Be careful what you wish for. Full paragraphs. Read it once a year. The more care you put into this, the more likely it is to be affirmed.

Lets say it is winter 2028. What does your life look like? What are you doing? Where do you live? What does your home look like? An apartment, a house, in the city or the country? What does your furniture look like? What does your bedroom look like? What kind of sheets do you have? Who do you live with? Tell me about your significant other. Do you have pets? Tell me about your pets. Do you have children? Do you have a car? Do you have a boat? Tell me about your career. What do you want? What are you making? What are you reading? What excites you? What is your health like? What kind of clothes do you wear? What does your hair look like?

Write this one day, from start to finish, 10 years from now. One day, in the winter of 2028; what does your whole day look like? Start from when you open your eyes, to brushing your teeth to when you tuck yourself into bed at night. What does that day look like for you? Put your whole heart into it and write like your life depends on it, because it does.

Let me know if you enjoyed writing your 10 Year Plan and whether you had any realizations from it in the comments! I found it so enjoyable and it really showed me that I wasn’t planning for the future as much as I felt I was.

Salomé

Adding Beauty to Your Life

How To Make The Perfect Flower Arrangement

October 9, 2015

how to make a flower arrangementflower arrangementsArranging flowers probably seems very simple and straightforward. But, like most things that we never think about until actually trying to do them ourselves, it’s a bit more complicated than it looks. how to make a flower arrangementWhy even bother making your own bouquet though? While a painting that depicts a vase of flowers can be world famous, the vase of flowers itself is fleeting and doesn’t get much lasting attention…but that doesn’t mean it’s not art too. Flower arrangements take into consideration many of the things a painting does; color, texture, mood and so on. It’s one of the least expensive and time consuming ways to express yourself creatively, plus you get a gorgeous result to display in your home afterwards. You even might find that it’s a peaceful break from the day, almost meditative. Either way, you should always have fresh flowers at home and I’m going to show you how to make a flower arrangement that will transform your home into a dreamy château from a vintage film. flower arrangementflower arrangements1.Work with color. The colors you choose, whether you’re going for a monochromatic, colorful or subtle arrangement, will set the tone for your finished piece. Consider the mood for your arrangement – earthy tones for fall, a classic all white bouquet or a bright mix for spring? Pick a theme and start from there. flower arrangements2. Length and volume. The length you cut your flowers, the volume you create and where you create it will impact your arrangement as much if not more than the colors you pick. Just be vigilant of your scissors here because things can get ugly. As a general rule, you want your filler plants to be thick and the shortest length, while your flowers should peek out from just above the greenery. The flip side of this crucial part in the process is that it’s also where you can get very creative.flower arrangements3. Not every arrangement needs flowers. A more woodsy bouquet can be made sans flowers. Look for something different to add a touch of color, like the Hypericum layered throughout this arrangement.flower arrangements4. Choose your layers. Find something like Eucalyptus or Leatherleaf to work with at the base of your arrangement. Then pick out a second plant to add sparingly throughout the arrangement, something like Baby’s-Breath or Hypericon. This adds depth and makes your finished piece look more complete.flower arrangements5. Find the right vase. If you’re going for an elegant look, a taller vase will give you that, while a shorter vase, or the mason jar I used for one arrangement, will give off a more understated, effortless beauty. flower arrangementsflower arrangement5. Don’t forget to look around your own yard to add a personal touch. If you have a garden or backyard, check around for something to add a little local beauty to your arrangement. But make sure you don’t accidentally try to arrange poison ivy. Just saying. flower arrangementsflower arrangements

My mom has always had fresh cut flowers in our home. It’s a simple addition to any room but it makes a huge difference. There’s something so classy and full of joie de vivre in stopping by the flower vendor on your way home from work. Yeah you’re supposed to stop and smell the flowers, but why not go a step further and bring them home with you?

Salomé

Adding Beauty to Your Life

How To Create Bohemian Decor For Your Bedroom In 6 Steps

September 24, 2015

bohemian decorBohemian inspired bedroom decor can be gorgeous, comforting and creative; however it’s more complicated than just throwing up a mash of colors, patterns and dream catchers. With a cohesive plan, bohemian decor can transform a bedroom into a unique oasis. Today on LunaGemme.com I’m showing you how to create the type of timeless bohemian decor that will turn your bedroom into the creative and cozy hideaway you’re looking for.

bohemian decorbohemian decor1) Color is an integral aspect of creating your bohemian haven. It’s important to choose a cohesive color scheme to avoid a rainbow effect. Though you can easily do an all white room, you can also pick a neutral color plus an accent color and several different shades of it to work with. bohemian decorbohemian decor2) For a bohemian bedroom you’ll want to create an effortlessly luxurious yet casually comfortable atmosphere, and this is done best by layering different fabrics throughout your space. Start with your bed; choose your duvet, with either an intricate pattern or decorative design, and then pick out a throw blanket to lay across the bed. You can also add a simple canopy if you have the space. Now move to the floor; find an area rug that will tie the room together and prevent things from looking too random. Another opportunity to add fabric to your room is a window; find some unique curtains like this, this or these to hang over any windows. And is bohemian decor really bohemian without a tapestry?bohemian decorbohemian decor3) Lighting isn’t the most fun aspect of decor at first thought, but there are so many ways to light your room and it’s one of the most significant changes you can make. Bohemian decor requires intricate lighting; think flickering candles of different sizes dotting the room, leaving a warm glow. Of course you’re not going to want to light 20 candles every time you walk into your room, so look for antiquated or unconventional pieces that will give the same result. Lantern style lamps and string lights like this, this or this will give your room that perfect diffused glow. But definitely incorporate some candles! bohemian decorbohemian decor4) Bohemian decor wouldn’t be complete without a little green. I’ll list a few specific plants that will take your decor to the next level, hopefully you can find them in your area and if not, you’ll know what plant type to substitute with. A Cat Palm or two will help transform your room into an oasis, plus they’re pretty easy to care for. A climbing vine plant like Philodendron and Pothos gives a sense of movement to the decor. Now just add a flowering plant like Peace Lily or Phalaenopsis Orchid for a pop of color. Make sure your plant’s home is as lovely as yours – try out a planter like this and this or a hanging plant holder like this. However, if you’re wanted for the murder of a few plants like myself, try getting several gorgeous vases and invest in a few bouquets of cut flowers or make some terrariums with succulents – the only plants I’ve never actually killed. bohemian decorbohemian decor5) Details are where bohemian decor shines. Just one rule here; leave no surface bare. The great part about choosing a bohemian decor style is that you can decorate with basically anything – beads, feathers, dried plants – anything goes. Here are some pieces to get your started: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5)bohemian decorbohemian decor6) This is the part where bohemian decor can lose it’s focus and become cluttered; patterns are both essential and challenging to incorporate. You’ll want to work with several distinct patterns to give the sense of movement and layers that is central to bohemian decor. A tip to simplify your life when adding patterns; let your pieces share at least one color and attempt to stay in the same pattern family (geometric, paisley, etc). bohemian decorbohemian decorBonus: If you have the space, a floor sitting area is a fun and extra cozy addition to any space. Just get some different color floor pillows, place them over a rug or throw blanket and add a lamp and stack of books on the floor beside it. Or if you’d rather stay off the ground, a swing chair or even a hammock would make a wonderful focal piece in your bohemian bedroom. bohemian decorRemember, the goal is to keep it timeless, cozy and eclectic. Trends like using the slur gypsy, religious deities and symbols as part of bohemian decor are insensitive and aren’t what bohemian decor is about. Implementing any of these 6 steps will bring about a significant change in your decor. Make sure to infuse your own personal style into your decorating to make your bedroom the unique and creative space you want! Let me know what changes you’ll be making first and what you love about bohemian decor.

Salomé


Adding Beauty to Your Life

How to Decorate a Minimalist Style Bedroom in 6 Steps

August 13, 2015

 

Minimalist decor\ˈmi-nə-mə-ˌli-zəm\
noun 
  1. A movement in sculpture and painting which arose in the 1950s, characterized by the use of simple, massive forms.
     
    Minimalism isn’t about cold, bare rooms or even perfect organization. It’s about respecting space, particularly empty space, and using colors/patterns intentionally. Decorating a minimalist style bedroom is an easy and immediate action you can take to bring some simplicity into your life and ultimately have a more calm and clear state of mind. I’m focusing on decorating your bedroom here because of the impact it can have on us. We’re at our most vulnerable in our bedrooms; it’s where we get crucial sleep, where we dream and it’s the first place we see upon waking up. The bedroom is our most personal room and is a reflection of our self – so lets make that a good thing. Minimalist Decorminimalist decor
    This is the easiest change you can make in creating a minimalist style bedroom and yet it will have the biggest impact. If you don’t have a luxurious white comforter yet, get on this. I promise you’ll feel like a different person after sleeping under a cloud like comforter. This is a great starter to make the change without spending much. minimalist decorminimalist decor
     Lighting is one of the more underappreciated aspects of decor, but minimalism gives it the chance to shine (I didn’t even have to try). There are purely decorative items like vases and then there are functional items like chairs and lamps that find a balance between being both. Lighting can be much more of a decorative tool if given the space. This is a great desk/end table lamp that will update a room immediately and this is the same model that can be mounted on a wall for the best in sleek convenience. If you’re looking to make an even bigger change, this is the same model as a floor lamp and this is another gorgeous floor lamp I’ve had my eyes on. minimalist decorminimalist decorEvaluate your mirror situation. This is another item that has both practical and decorative use. Though it’s not the first piece that comes to mind when redecorating, a properly used mirror can change a room significantly by brightening it up and making your space seem larger. Don’t be shy about using mirrors purely for decoration though, like this cut up mirror or make the mirror you regularly use a statement piece in your minimalist style bedroom like this beautiful mirror.minimalist decorminimalist decorNo, you don’t have to paint your room and everything in it white. Pick out an accent color and use it sparingly and with intention to bring depth and pattern to your decor. Think of what pieces you can use to bring in that color, like framed art or rugs. The color you choose doesn’t have to be a cool tone, it’s just easier to work with one without overdoing it. Though you definitely can keep your entire room white if you’re feeling intensely minimal. minimalist decorminimalist decor

Minimalism in three words? Edit, edit, edit. Get rid of the excess and store everything else. Give yourself some space by adding this perfectly minimal shelf or this eye catching circular shelf and create a display to step up your decorating game. Try out some other items for storing things like this ring holder and bracelet holder. Embrace the editing that a minimalist style bedroom requires. Less clutter is always a plus. minimalist decorminimalist decorNow your surfaces are cleared and your shelves are up, so curate the perfect display. You can pick out some items that have meaning to you and set them next to framed photos. I use these black frames in my home; they present photos beautifully and add a modern feel to the room. Don’t forget to experiment with your display! Instead of lining books up like normal, show off their covers and make them part of the decor for your minimalist style bedroom. This, this and this are some great books to start your display with. The finishing touch: candles. These and these make the perfect addition to a minimalist decor. Think of your shelves as a mini museum space, they don’t have to stay static. Try putting up a few new pieces every month; change is good. minimalist decorminimalist decorGreen and minimalism go better together than you might expect. Regardless of your color scheme, add plants to bring some life into your room. Keep houseplants in line with your minimalist style bedroom by picking out the right home for them, check out this classic planter or this unique planter. DIY and use your accent color or paint a traditional base all white. You can also give terrariums like those in the above photo a try; this terrarium kit has everything you need to bring some green into your room. minimalist decorIs your room a minimalist retreat yet? These six steps are the most doable while still having the biggest effect on creating a minimalist style bedroom. Try to implement whatever is possible for you and enjoy your new, clutter-free haven.

Salomé


Adding Beauty to Your Life, My Work, Writing

We Accept the Friends We Think We Deserve

June 10, 2015

“Many of us learn as children that friendship should never be seen as just as important as family ties. However, friendship is the place in which a great majority of us have our first glimpse of redemptive love and caring community. Learning to love in friendships empowers us in ways that enable us to bring this love to other interactions with family or with romantic bonds.” – bell hooks

We tend to think of friendship in a casual way and not afford it the power we do a romantic relationship. Especially today, when social media has us calling people we’ve spoke to only once a friend. The problem is that all relationships, whether romantic, familial or friendly, can either prevent or promote our growth as a person.

This isn’t to say you might be friends with someone who is actively plotting to hold you back, just like you can be in a romantic relationship with someone who doesn’t cause you pain, but also doesn’t bring the best out of you.

The people we spend our time with are some of the biggest influences in our lives; the way they speak, what they speak about, their values and beliefs, the media they take in, even the people in their own lives, become part of our consciousness.

One of the most proactive things you can do to raise the quality of your life is create a friend filter.
Just because you hit it off with someone and have things in common doesn’t mean this person should have access to you daily. That wouldn’t be reason enough to start dating someone, so why friendship? Set a higher standard for all your relationships. They’re different yet are all equally important and influential.

Reading this might have already brought someone to mind, so check this list of symptoms to make sure your friendship isn’t stunting your personal growth. But if you find this list describes you more than your friends, it might be time to check yourself.

Safe Spaces
Sure you laugh and have fun, but do you find yourself keeping quiet on your opinions? This is a big negative, but not at all uncommon. Some people are of the mindset that their opinions are facts, and spending your time around them will push you to hold back your opinions or just agree to avoid discomfort. There’s a crucial difference between standing by your beliefs and being unable to have discussions that don’t agree with your beliefs. The latter doesn’t create a safe space for learning and sharing. You wouldn’t accept a boyfriend or girlfriend that curtailed your self expression, so why a close friend?

Giving More Than You Get Back
It’s basic math; if you subtract more than you add, you’ll end up in the negative. Both romantic relationships and friendships require and thrive with balance. Of course that doesn’t mean a perfect 50/50 split between give and take; a healthy relationship moves back and forth between giving and taking with not one person always doing the giving and the other always taking.

Do you both have cars but keep finding yourself in the driver’s seat when you’d rather not? Are you quick to pay for your friend but can count on one hand the times they’ve just offered to pay? Do they vent about their day to you but suddenly have to leave when it’s your turn to vent? Do you seem to come into existance when it’s convenient to them? If you’re the one giving too much, you probably already know it.

More Bad Than Good
This one’s important because it’s both easy to do and easy to overlook. Shit talking. We all do it, but (hopefully) try not to. While you don’t have to set your standards so high only a zen buddhist could be your friend, don’t lower them just because most people don’t meet them. There are people who occasionally have a bad word for someone, and then there are people who are constantly focused on other people and how they can insult them. It might be funny and even true sometimes, but that’s not worth filling your consciousness with shit talking. It even sounds terrible. Shit talking filled consciousness.

People who constantly bad mouth others are a blessing in disguise though. They are openly letting you know they will fill the space around you with negativity. There is no easier way to be certain someone will bad mouth you than if they do it to others right in front of you. Trust that once you break with this person you will be the first one they gossip about.

If you don’t already know it, let me tell you; a person who is always insulting the people around them has chosen a toxic method of dealing with insecurity and self-hate. You will never find a happy person bothering to search other people for flaws to pick at. They don’t need that low form of false confidence because they already have real confidence in themselves.

Not every person with low self esteem acts in a toxic way, so don’t make the mistake of avoiding all insecure people. We’re talking about those who, instead of confronting themselves, project their insecurities onto others. Don’t let them bring you down with them.

“Tell me who your friends are and I’ll tell you who you are.”

Goal Digging
No, I’m not going to tell you to surround yourself with like minded people. Spending time with people who share your goals definitely has it’s benefits, but there are lots of great people who don’t pursue what you do. Instead of seeing people in terms of what they want to do, see them in terms of what they actually do. Someone might say they want to be a lawyer, but what are they doing to get there? If your goal requires hard work, then spend your time around people who work hard, not just people who have the same goals but aren’t doing what’s required to achieve them.

We Accept The Friends We Think We Deserve
Friends hold a lot of power in our lives. There are times when neither family nor significant others can help us, but our friends know exactly what to say and do. It’s so important we acknowledge the huge role friends play; this means not letting just anybody step into that position. Don’t feel like you have to compromise parts of yourself to have friends. It’s good to give, but not if the person you’re giving to isn’t helping bring the best out of you, too. Watch how quickly you’ll feel the space around you open up with room to grow when you raise your standards for friendship.

People are constantly changing, don’t be afraid to let them go; someone who was once at your level will hold you back when you begin to progress beyond them. So do a little check up on your friendships; sometimes it’s not you, it’s them.

Salomé