Photos of Miami Springs after Hurricane Irma
Photos of Miami Springs after Hurricane Irma
I took a road trip by myself to Naples, where I stayed in a house that came with a little dog who, albeit suspiciously, tolerated my company. The house was tucked into a quiet gated community, where I quickly blended into everyday life, taking out the trash and walking the dog as if I wasn’t actually from the chaotic North Caribbean metropolis that is Miami.
Though it’s only about an hours drive away, Naples and Miami share mostly physical geography and that’s about it. The first sign that I was not in Hialeah anymore was the abundance of those simple flashing lights that save lives: turn signals. People actually used turn signals and moved out of the left lane after passing! I quickly got used to this foreign cultural custom. Now when I talk about visiting Naples, I always mention the regular use of turn signals as if it’s some famous local monument you have to see. Driving on the Palmetto just changes a person.
In many ways, Naples is your stereotypical Florida beach town; lots of old people and postcard worthy beaches. It’s quiet, shiny and sandy, making it a popular vacation spot amongst Floridians. Naples has a strange secret though; it’s actually one of the richest cities in the entire United States. Little old Naples with it’s population of less than 30,000 people holds 6th place in highest per capita income and a lot of those 30,000 residents are living in some of the most expensive homes in the country, with some houses selling for upwards of $40 million. Now I understand why everybody seems so pleasant here.
Really though, the people of Naples are extremely nice and at the most basic level, they actually seem to give a shit about you. Being a semi-introverted inhabitant of a major city, friendliness beyond the reach of general social niceties makes me a little nervous. The people here were so outgoing and chatty it started to ware down my anti-social armor and I found myself being…friendly. I even caught myself stopping to help a family take a vacation photo. Luckily I had progressed to this serious stage only by my last day there and a quick drive through Miami Dade county restored my callous exterior.
Naples is a strange mix of money, Florida and tranquility. The beach and sunset demand you take the time to really observe the gorgeous shows they put on everyday. My stay in Naples was so peaceful and the openness people exhibited towards me brought me to reevaluate how few words I use in my everyday interactions with others. Things move slower in Naples. At least, the people definitely do.
Have you been to Naples before or are you thinking about going? Let me know what your impression of the town was or why you’re planning to visit in the comments! Start your search for the perfect Airbnb away from home here.
Emerald Pool, Dominica – This tiny island in the Caribbean is full of postcard views and some of the most untouched nature that doesn’t require hours of advanced level hiking to see. The Emerald Pool in Dominica is as magical as its name leads you to imagine. Less than a 30 minute hike (but more like a walk) to and from, this is a great place for visitors with limited mobility. The mid point on the trail is the perfect place to take photos – you’ll have a mountain view from 2,248 ft. If you’re in Dominica, this is a gorgeous sight you shouldn’t miss.
“Many of us learn as children that friendship should never be seen as just as important as family ties. However, friendship is the place in which a great majority of us have our first glimpse of redemptive love and caring community. Learning to love in friendships empowers us in ways that enable us to bring this love to other interactions with family or with romantic bonds.” – bell hooks
We tend to think of friendship in a casual way and not afford it the power we do a romantic relationship. Especially today, when social media has us calling people we’ve spoke to only once a friend. The problem is that all relationships, whether romantic, familial or friendly, can either prevent or promote our growth as a person.
This isn’t to say you might be friends with someone who is actively plotting to hold you back, just like you can be in a romantic relationship with someone who doesn’t cause you pain, but also doesn’t bring the best out of you.
The people we spend our time with are some of the biggest influences in our lives; the way they speak, what they speak about, their values and beliefs, the media they take in, even the people in their own lives, become part of our consciousness.
One of the most proactive things you can do to raise the quality of your life is create a friend filter.
Just because you hit it off with someone and have things in common doesn’t mean this person should have access to you daily. That wouldn’t be reason enough to start dating someone, so why friendship? Set a higher standard for all your relationships. They’re different yet are all equally important and influential.
Reading this might have already brought someone to mind, so check this list of symptoms to make sure your friendship isn’t stunting your personal growth. But if you find this list describes you more than your friends, it might be time to check yourself.
Sure you laugh and have fun, but do you find yourself keeping quiet on your opinions? This is a big negative, but not at all uncommon. Some people are of the mindset that their opinions are facts, and spending your time around them will push you to hold back your opinions or just agree to avoid discomfort. There’s a crucial difference between standing by your beliefs and being unable to have discussions that don’t agree with your beliefs. The latter doesn’t create a safe space for learning and sharing. You wouldn’t accept a boyfriend or girlfriend that curtailed your self expression, so why a close friend?
Giving More Than You Get Back
It’s basic math; if you subtract more than you add, you’ll end up in the negative. Both romantic relationships and friendships require and thrive with balance. Of course that doesn’t mean a perfect 50/50 split between give and take; a healthy relationship moves back and forth between giving and taking with not one person always doing the giving and the other always taking.
Do you both have cars but keep finding yourself in the driver’s seat when you’d rather not? Are you quick to pay for your friend but can count on one hand the times they’ve just offered to pay? Do they vent about their day to you but suddenly have to leave when it’s your turn to vent? Do you seem to come into existance when it’s convenient to them? If you’re the one giving too much, you probably already know it.
More Bad Than Good
This one’s important because it’s both easy to do and easy to overlook. Shit talking. We all do it, but (hopefully) try not to. While you don’t have to set your standards so high only a zen buddhist could be your friend, don’t lower them just because most people don’t meet them. There are people who occasionally have a bad word for someone, and then there are people who are constantly focused on other people and how they can insult them. It might be funny and even true sometimes, but that’s not worth filling your consciousness with shit talking. It even sounds terrible. Shit talking filled consciousness.
People who constantly bad mouth others are a blessing in disguise though. They are openly letting you know they will fill the space around you with negativity. There is no easier way to be certain someone will bad mouth you than if they do it to others right in front of you. Trust that once you break with this person you will be the first one they gossip about.
If you don’t already know it, let me tell you; a person who is always insulting the people around them has chosen a toxic method of dealing with insecurity and self-hate. You will never find a happy person bothering to search other people for flaws to pick at. They don’t need that low form of false confidence because they already have real confidence in themselves.
Not every person with low self esteem acts in a toxic way, so don’t make the mistake of avoiding all insecure people. We’re talking about those who, instead of confronting themselves, project their insecurities onto others. Don’t let them bring you down with them.
“Tell me who your friends are and I’ll tell you who you are.”
No, I’m not going to tell you to surround yourself with like minded people. Spending time with people who share your goals definitely has it’s benefits, but there are lots of great people who don’t pursue what you do. Instead of seeing people in terms of what they want to do, see them in terms of what they actually do. Someone might say they want to be a lawyer, but what are they doing to get there? If your goal requires hard work, then spend your time around people who work hard, not just people who have the same goals but aren’t doing what’s required to achieve them.
We Accept The Friends We Think We Deserve
Friends hold a lot of power in our lives. There are times when neither family nor significant others can help us, but our friends know exactly what to say and do. It’s so important we acknowledge the huge role friends play; this means not letting just anybody step into that position. Don’t feel like you have to compromise parts of yourself to have friends. It’s good to give, but not if the person you’re giving to isn’t helping bring the best out of you, too. Watch how quickly you’ll feel the space around you open up with room to grow when you raise your standards for friendship.
People are constantly changing, don’t be afraid to let them go; someone who was once at your level will hold you back when you begin to progress beyond them. So do a little check up on your friendships; sometimes it’s not you, it’s them.